In the Shadow of the Cross

September 2004 -- Back to current issue and main Archives

Marriage…husbands to their wives. What is the template or the standard God holds men to their wives?

Paul speaks to this topic in Ephesians.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water though the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it just as Christ does the Church. for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”
(Ephesians 5: 22-33 (NIV)

We are to love our wives as Christ loved the Church. How did Christ love the church? Christ is the Author and overflowing fountain of compassion and grace. He came to earth to dwell among us. He put aside His divinity to become a man. Christ was loving and overly kind and compassionate to those around Him. He healed, taught, loved, laughed, felt sorrow for, fed, encouraged, preached, comforted, wept with, walked with, and ultimately died for His church.

We certainly fall short in comparison to Christ. We are humans obviously limited to what we can do or cannot do. However, the phrase, “love your wife as Christ loved the Church”, to me would signify not only the manner in which He loved, but also the intensity and completeness behind it. We are to love our wives completely, and continually. Our wives are human and imperfect, and we are to love them nonetheless. Jesus was constantly surrounded by human imperfection, yet He loved fully. Jesus is God. How does God love? He loves perfectly and completely. Can man do the same? No but we can work toward that goal. Paul in this epistle is saying that everyday we should exercise this God-given gift of love. Since it is God-given, it’s holy if its manifest in the manner ordained by God, in a marriage. A marriage as defined between one man and one woman. Paul also shows us what love should look like in his letter to the Corinthians.
“Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (NIV)

Paul is showing us what unselfish love looks like in this letter.

A deep look and study of the Gospels will show that Jesus loved as described in Corinthians. This love culminated with His surrender and death of the cross. He accepted this death as God’s plan for Him, but love was the central focus and theme of this death. God’s love and Jesus’ love for us was the bottom-line reason. This is an indescribable love and no other religion on earth can come close to this as their central theme. Husbands, giving completely and unselfish love to his wife will be difficult. As we all know, Satan, the flesh and the world will get in the way of this happening.

As men we cannot overcome these obstacles alone. We constantly need the assistance of God and His Spirit. Again, to love as Jesus did would take men to realize that Jesus’ love was complete for the incomplete, was holy for the unholy, and perfect for the imperfect. All of these shortcomings are true of wives, simply because they are human. Our love for them should be stronger than their imperfections. Jesus saw the imperfection of the people around Him, but loved them, had wonderful compassion and ultimately died for them/us. Would you die in place of your wife? Most men would say ‘Yes’. If you answered “yes” then now contemplate what this means, the whole significance of that statement. Why would you do this? What is the compelling factor in your answering ‘yes’ to that question? Now that you have that established in your mind, can you now re-visit 1 Corinthians, 13 and put that definition into practice, after all you would die for her!

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All Rights Reserved.

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